Past Freedoms;

Things just need to stay secrets..

ive been through alot in my life and i need closer and
i need someone to talk too..because since ive left
maryland ive lost everything ive loved..and much more..
i mean since my dad died ive learned alot..and since my brother died
ive missed them both but ive learned alot..since then..
and since my heart was broken..ive learned alot too..i mean i miss everything about..
being loved..that feelin was great but i dont hate him at all..i just hate myself more than anything..

1.) The things i learned were meant to be learned..
and the things i lost werent meant to be lost..and im still scared and upset
about it because nobody no ones about it but me and him..but he doesnt believe..
and i know it was long..until i told you..but think about it why would i lied about it..i mean
seriously..i mean i wanted something to love me..but i could even have that cuz i lost it..so you have nothin to worry about..cuz your life wasnt messed up..

2.)and second is that im sorry for messin up your lives cuz i kno i
didnt mean too because..since i left .
.i dont call you guys and you guys dont call me either..
so wats the point? cuz i never wanted to leave i just wanted
a better life..and i just wanted to run away from my problems..
but you guys werent my problems at all..you guys used to be my solutions..
cuz i could tell you guys any and everything..i miss that you guys..i
just wish we could still do that even tho were in places and far from each other..
cuz i still love you guys in different ways and i miss you guys too..

3.)hmmm&& cryin inside..while i watch my tears hit the window..and watch all of you guys..movin on to big and better things..since i left..my energy..and my love has been drained and used for no reason..its just useless..it doesnt mean anythin..cuz you guys dont care